Menu

This Pet Store Is Carrying The Pets You’ve Really Been Looking For

By now, you might be familiar with the antics of Jeff Wyaski, also known as Obvious Plant. You might remember his stance against traditional bookstore organization and his foray into the world of self-help. He”s back, and now he”s trying his hand at helping pet store customers find what they”re really looking for in an animal companion.

Perfect if your place is too small for a guard dog or a zombie crew to do your bidding.

Perfect if your place is too small for a guard dog or a zombie crew to do your bidding.

If you”re feeling homesick, try this disapproving amphibian.

If you

Your protein powder can double as bedding for this guy.

Your protein powder can double as bedding for this guy.

This rodent, on the other hand, will do less working out and more yelling about Dorito-flavored aioli.

This rodent, on the other hand, will do less working out and more yelling about Dorito-flavored aioli.

.

It”ll help you feel cooler, but it won”t help you get dates. Can be transported in a fedora as a juvenile.

It

It”s really easy to take care of this one. We mean really easy.

It

Look, what did you expect for $24.99? Do you know how much mutating chemicals cost?

Look, what did you expect for $24.99? Do you know how much mutating chemicals cost?

These little guys need a lot of space for exercise, but you really don”t want them getting stir crazy.

These little guys need a lot of space for exercise, but you really don

(via Distractify)

We”re not sure how the animals here feel about their true natures being revealed, but we”re sure they”ll find the perfect homes. After all, a Voodoo Death Bird is perfect for kids, and a Fieri Hamster can point you in all the right dining directions.

If you”re still deciding which pet is for you, check out more of Wyaski”s antics on Tumblr.

Sometimes signs aren”t meant to be jokes, but they”re hilarious anyway: