We all probably do some freaky stuff in our sleep. The scariest part about it is that we”re asleep! We don”t even know what we”re doing! Your significant other might know, but he/she is too nice to tell you, “Hey, so, you fart when you sleep.”
Below are some of the weirdest things people ever did while snoozing. Let”s hope our loved ones are strong enough to tell us that when we sleep we…
…invite people to chill.
One woman in 2008 awoke to find that, sometime in the night, her sleeping body got out of bed and sent an email to three people. The email read: “Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4.pm. Bring wine and caviar only.” A fancy affair, indeed!
…make trippy works of art.
Lee Hadwin is a nurse by day, but a surrealist illustrator by night. He makes bizarre sketches like this in his sleep. Strangely, if he tries to do the same during the day, his pieces lack inspiration and technique.
…climb a giant crane.
In 2005, a fifteen-year-old girl in London went to bed one night and woke up on the top of a 13-story crane. She apparently had a long history of sleepwalking, but this was her first sleep climbing incident!
…conduct an orchestra.
Harry F. Rosenthal, writer and classical music enthusiast, has been known to conduct full orchestras in his sleep and even vocalize the parts for the dream instrumentalists to learn.
…jump out windows.
Comedian Mike Birbiglia, a known sleepwalker, details an experience in his film Sleepwalk With Me about a particularly nasty time sleepwalking. While asleep at a motel, Birbiglia got up and burst through a second story window. This is apparently common with severe sleepwalkers, especially when dreaming about being in danger.
…have sex with people.
There is a condition cleverly named “sleep sex” which, as you would have guessed, causes the sufferer to climb into the beds of opportunistic strangers and do the business. Which sounds like the perfect excuse for a partner who likes sex, but not necessarily with the person they married.
…eat. A lot.
“Sleep eating” is a similarly self-explanatory condition. One woman found out about her condition from her doctor only after she had inexplicably gained 60 pounds in a short period of time. Sucks that there”s no condition called “sleep exercising” or even just “diet sleep eating”.
…go on a crazy late-night bender.
One Denver woman in 2003 took an Ambien before climbing into bed. A couple hours later, she stood up, drank half a bottle of wine, and got into her car…while asleep. At some point, she crashed the vehicle, urinated on the ground, and fought the police who tried to arrest her. She remembered none of it and woke up in a jail cell.
Kenneth Parks is probably the most famous case of “homicidal sleepwalker” syndrome. After going to bed, he managed to drive 14 miles to his in-laws” house, stabbing and killing his wife”s mother. He was eventually acquitted of all charges and later on, ran for the school board in his hometown.
…record an album.
In the “60s, a man named Dion McGregor was extremely prolific when he talked in his sleep. His friends decided to record his ramblings and and set it to music. You can actually listen to it as an album here. Be warned: like most things in the 60″s, it”s got a lot of weird sex stuff.
In 2006, a Muslim couple was forced to divorce after the husband uttered, “talaq” three times, which is the Arabic word for divorce. In his Islamic tradition, saying the word three times in a row (kind of like in Beetlejuice) is cause for separation.
Most of these make my night farts seem fairly normal. I still feel like it would be more impressive if I could, in my sleep, conduct my farts like a 90-piece orchestra. A man can only dream, I suppose.