If you’re having a bad day, here’s a list that’ll pull you right out of that funk (especially if you’re at work and there’s no end in sight).
These jokes might be kind of stupid, but a little stupidity is sometimes exactly what you need.
1. A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “HaÂÂ! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it will,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.” (via Reddit / rustamsatti)
2. I’ve been searching for months for my girlfriend’s killer…
…but no one will do it. (via Reddit / viewerdoer)
3. Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken. (via Reddit / jaykirsch)
4. Why do flowerbeds have mulch?
So you can’t see their underplants. (via Reddit / BJHannigan)
5. What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
Your wife back, your dog back, and your house back. (via Reddit / Sproose_Moose)
6. I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet…
…but I don’t know why. (via Reddit / ChrisJTW97)
7. How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Wanna go ride bikes? (via Reddit / Mick0331)
8. What do an obstetrician and a well-written joke have in common?
They both deliver. (via Reddit / _The_Tourist_)
9. How do you win an argument with your zombie girlfriend?
Give her a piece of your mind. (via Reddit / DemiseofReality)
10. I named my hard drive “Dat Ass”…
…so that every month or so, my computer asks me if I wanna back Dat Ass up. (via Reddit / leviathannTV)
11. The most potent strain of marijuana has just been released to the public.
Reports say that consumption has reached an all-time high. (via Reddit / procrastination55)
12. “Push harder!” I shouted at my wife while she was in labor. “Screw you!” she shouted back.
It wasn’t my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital. (via Reddit / cualcrees)
13. Did you hear about the corduroy pillow?
It’s apparently making headlines. (via Reddit / Palpable_Charisma)
14. I ordered a time machine…
…and got a watch. (via Reddit / Readitigetit)
15. Why didn’t the Mexican man go bow hunting?
Because he didn’t habanero. (via Reddit / Critical386)
16. When Vanna White dies…
…do you think her family will receive a lot of touching letters? (via Reddit / modern_messiah43)
17. I was looking at a baseball and trying to figure out why it was getting larger…
…and then it hit me. (via Reddit / MagnusPI)
18. I for one…
…love Roman numerals. (via Reddit / ElderCunningham)
19. How do you know if something is too loud?
It hertz. (via Reddit / arewehooman)
Don’t you feel better now? Those are classics in the making.