For centuries, statues have been crafted by humans to depict our reality…and also to distort it. Even one of the oldest known sculptures, the LÃ¶wenmensch figurine or “Lion-Man,” believed to be around 30,000-40,000 years old, doesn’t depict any real person; rather, it’s a zoomorphic being with the body of a human and the head of a lion.
Because of this longstanding history, you’d think we’d be used to abstract statues by now. However, as these creepy pieces from around the world prove, the form can still pull the metaphorical rug from under our reality.
1. What’s up, Doc?
2. If this were outside my office, I’d keep the blinds shut at all times.
3. “Now cough.”
4. Those eyes will forever haunt me.
5. “Welcome to Hell!” –The horse at the Denver airport
6. This statue perfectly captures my mood whenever I go Christmas shopping.
7. This is what you get for calling bulls@#t.
8. This statue was sculpted to commemorate the great Chicken War. Colonel Sanders was so brave that day.
9. When it’s your turn to put the kids to sleep.
10. Is this Greek mythology’s take on John F. Kennedy?
11. Maybe ease up on that paleo diet, buddy…
12. Even Hell monsters enjoy time down by the water.
Thankfully, this was dismantled.
13. The weirdest thing about this naked LEGO woman is that it was built in the middle of the desert.
14. This statue’s creativity is matched only by the amount of diseases it probably carries.
15. Okay, we get it, New Zealand. Your country is filled with nerds.
16. How…how is this even possible?
17. The line for the new iPhone be like…
18. Why yes…you’d be correct in assuming that these statues have actual human teeth in their mouths.
It’s all fun and games until through some kind of dark spell, these creepy statues come to life and attack us. Why can’t anyone make statues of adorable things ever?